These past few days have been sheer turmoil for me. Drumming up ways to up my finances, being faced with the possibility of partnerships that scare me and get me thinking too.
My friend invited me for a wedding recently, and much as I am not a huge fan of weddings, I decided to go. I curled up my hair, dragged out my famous mono-shoulder lbd, cinched in my waist, pulled on my embellished flats, swiped on some red gloss and was ready to go.
We clambered into a car that was not exactly in mint condition and headed on down. Now, all the way there, my lack of finances preyed heavily on my mind. I just kept thinking, how many more rides are you going to have to hitch to places? Am I ever going to get a car of my own? I thought about my dress which did wonders for my skin and curves, what if there’s a red-carpet and they asked who designed my dress? What’d I say?? As we almost got to the venue, I noticed that Mobile Police had blocked parts of the famous Falomo bridge, and palpitations started in full-force! Oh my days! I was going for a wedding of the crème-de-la-crème of Lagos or even Nigeria. I dragged on confidence and thought to myself-I’m going in!
We got there, and it was this huge tent with no space for us to sit, it was soooo rowdy! It was a bleeding carnival! People hogged seats like petrol the first day Goody made the announcement of the increase! I was in awe! We finally got seated, and heard the well-paid MC yelling for everyone to be seated. It was utter chaos!
It was now time for introducing the “guests of honor” and the MC screamed out the names and their accomplishments. There were governors, ex-governors, socialites, rich and famous people on that roll-call. Then, the food started coming in. Trays of nicely arranged rice and protein, cocktails, bottles, oh so many bottles of champagne! It was like a market with nicely dressed people in it. Amidst this all, the bride and groom danced in, but people were more interested in taking photos of themselves, (me inclusive) and chatting at length about the bride’s not-so-fab dress, the luck of the bride, and the fact that she was marrying a lagos big-boy(whatever that is).
I started thinking that these people, or whoever paid for that wedding didn’t have the same problems as me. There was a lot of money infused in that wedding. It was obvious from the exquisite, but gaudy pink décor to the massive bomb-sniffing dogs outside the venue, to the wail of thousands of sirens from the bullion vans of the MOPOL, and all the who-is-who, but one thing that wedding lacked was warmth. There were no teary-eyes in the tent, but eyes glazed from too much champagne, no one around me seemed to even know the couple that well, I even got a tap on my shoulder informing me that it was time to circulate and did I bring any cards? Girls were draping themselves all over rich, pot-bellied big men and would come back squealing in glee, flaunting the complimentary cards they’d got.
Now, I am not dissing rich people, or society weddings, but it got me thinking that money wasn’t everything.
I remembered weddings I’d attended were water-proof mascara was a must, because when the bride walked towards her husband and took her place at his side, tears flowed because we knew their story. We knew what struggles these people went through to get there. Yes, there were grouchy relatives, or disgruntled exes and other fussy people, but the overall tone of the day was a blissful, happy one. I even remembered the way my church would gather round to make the day a blissful one for the couple. Donations of bags of rice, my Auntie would call all the women to cook for the wedding in her backyard, my Mom would painstakingly sew the bride’s dress and the whole train too! She’d get us (the kids) to pray over the dress before she packed it away in that big blue box she used for wedding things only. My brother and I would bead the lower part of the dress, or cut out the lace pieces, or stuff the purses for the day.
Granted, my Ma is not Vera Wang, (even though she’d give old Vera a run for her
money)but there was so much love and sacrifice put into weddings then!
Nowadays, weddings have gone awry! I don’t want to feel like someone did me a favour and put a ring on it, or that even though I didn’t like the décor, I’d go for it cos it is the “in-thing”, I don’t want to invite the governor just so he can buy us a car, or so people can talk for months about the “big-wigs” at my wedding. I don’t know him!
I want to feel like a Princess on my wedding day, I want to soak up all the good will/wishes coming my way, I want to look around me and smile and wink at familiar faces, I want to dance and smile till my feet and cheeks ache, I also want it to be a memorable day for my friends and family and of course the groom! One thing, though money can’t buy that feeling!
